Political party commits suicide

An allegedly liberal left wing party committed suicide tonight.  When told of its death during an interview Queen David the Mad Axewoman laughed hysterically, screeching "tonight is the night." The interviewer then asked what was happening tonight, to which she replied

The same thing we do every night, Paxman - try to take over the world!

In an entirely coincidental incident the word Progressive was found badly assaulted and close to death near Dictionary Corner earlier this evening. It is reported that the victim bore striking similarities to an innocent interviewee subject to a CIA interrogation not witnessed by MI6.

Progressive appears to have been inappropriately abused and overused - the attackers completely misinterpreting its true intent.

reported a Police spokesman, a source said.

Police are seeking information or witnesses and ask for any members of the public who may have information regarding either of these incidents to come forward and give them a clue, as they are rather busy dealing with dictionary wielding rioters burning membership cards.

'moff to bed...